Banker bonuses? Give them to everyone.

There's a very simply answer to the problem of banker bonuses.  Give them to everybody.  No, I'm serious.   The banks are only in existence because of the hundreds of billions in state support.  Had it not been for the guarantee of public money to back up their dodgy asset base, not just direct capital injections but liquidity, asset swaps and loans, even the nominally private banks like Barclays would have gone under in 2008 because the entire financial system would have collapsed and their assets would have been valueless.   

   Very well then.  In future, when the banks hand themselves bonuses, the public should get equal, if not greater bonuses for having underwritten their profits in teh first place.  It's only what the banks would do were the situation reversed, and they were lending to government.  They call it interest.  So seven billion in bonuses  to investment bankers?  Seven billion to us.  Twenty billion in City salaries?  Twenty to us.  

  Such would be the condition for any future public support for banks.  If some banks reject this they can reject this arrangement and go out on their own, but they would really be on their own.   Then we would see what the state guarantee is really worth in the market where it counts.  Can you imagine anyone putting their money in a bank today that would have no future access to any public support?  Exactly.  They would be out of business tomorrow.

Marxist conspiracy at Royal Bank of Scotland

  At last it can be revealed:  the conspiracy to destroy our western liberal way of life. How a tightly knit group of anarchist revolutionaries infiltrated the City of London and Edinburgh's banking sector and have used their inside influence to bring about the downfall of the capitalist system. 


Working under deep cover, moles in the Royal Bank of Scotland have destroyed the image of  banking once and for all, by awarding themselves billions in bonuses, just as millions of voters are plunging into debt and losing their jobs.  RBS board have threatened to resign if the government tries to stop them increasing bonuses by 50%, even though the bank is 80% state owned. Only a week ago we learned that £62 billion in secret loans had been handed to RBS and HBOS a without the public being informed - the biggest bank raid in history, only it was the banks robbing the people.   

 Other agent provocateurs in the financial sector have been  spreading the word about how million pound salaries have become commonplace in the City of London - the final insult to all those hard-working taxpayers who paid for the rescue of the banks last year.  The  banks have even continued charging ludicrous overdraft fees to people who go just a few pounds or even pence into the red.  Clearly, these individuals will stop at nothing in their determination to discredit the capitalism..

    Well, how else can we explain the extraordinary events of the past year?   The world economy brought to its knees by obscure devices like Collateralised Debt Obligations and Credit Default Swaps.  These were self-destruct mechanisms fed into the international financial system by evil geniuses bent on undermining the market system.  The banks wouldn’t destory themselves, would they?  How ridiculous.

   The Marxist moles rubbed their hands with glee as their financial weapons of mass destruction erupted across the planet.  There was a global recession,  businesses closed, millions were thrown out of work.  Leon Trotsky himself could not have written a better script for the collapse of capitalism.  Governments across the world were forced to pump in trillions of dollars to the banks plunging whole nations into debt.  

     Even now,  despite record profits, banks are still not lending to small businesses, stifling economic recovery,  and are even starting to trade mortgage derivatives once again.   These people are clearly incapable of controlling their greed or their addiction to risk.  Gorged on public funds, unrestrained by regulation, untouched by democracy, untrammeled by conscience, the anarcho-bankers are hard at work stoking up the next crisis.  Bye bye Dubai.